To speak out loud
by amoureuse87
Summary: Just a short fic about how a beautiful relationship could start


My heart was pumping fast, I could hear it in my ears. I was actually almost panicky, which was totally insane. I had been hunting all kinds of evil creatures and never ever before had I been this nervous. Now it was about the most important things though, and I had to survive by myself, not with help from Sam. This time I didn't even want him to help.

I turned my eyes to Sam, he noticed my staring. I nodded my head at him, he got up and said that he needed to use the toilet. I cleared my throat while Sam was walking away, he even winked his eye on me. I tried to take a deep breath, but it was hard to keep it going smooth. This would mean so much to me, it could solve so many things.

I noticed that Castiel was staring at me, I threw a nervous smile at him, tried to utter a laughter that got caught somewhere. He obviously had no idea why I was acting so weird. I looked at him and felt a bit more relaxed. After all, this was only Castiel, he wouldn't harm me in any ways ever imaginable.

"Cas, may I speak with you?" I asked.

"Of course. Isn't it what you're doing now?" Castiel answered, he was smiling wide. He was just joking with me, as always. I closed my eyes for a short while, actually I felt almost good. Nervous but good, I had faith in _us_.

"I don't know how to say this though," I sighed, right now it felt so difficult to form understandable sentences.

"It's okay, just try to find some way and I'll try to understand. Something private?" Castiel asked.

"Well you could say so," I said.

"I don't think there's anything that could shock me, shoot it," Castiel said, lifted his right leg on his left one and looked at me.

"Uhm, I think this could come as a shock. Some kind of a shock," I warned.

"Doubt it. Well, what's the big thing you want to talk about?" Castiel tried to persuade me to speak out.

"About the thing that touches us all. The biggest one of all," I described.

"Love?" Castiel suggested, I looked away from him and nodded my head. I knew he'd get it at once.

We didn't say a word for a while, I needed to collect myself and Castiel simply gave me time to do so. He knew me already so well, he knew how to handle me.

"I think I've fallen in love," I finally stated.

"That's nice. And you're telling this to me because...?" Castiel left the sentence unfinished. I could hear something from his voice, I turned my eyes back to him. He looked like he was hurt, why? Did he think that I had fallen for someone else than him?

"Because? Isn't it kind of obvious?" I tried to make a joke of it.

"No, it's not," Castiel said quietly.

I lifted my hand, almost reached out for Castiel but it was too much. He wasn't even close enough, which probably was a good thing.

"To me it is. Listen, I've been thinking about this a lot and well, maybe I'm ready to admit it. I have certain feelings to another male," I revealed, made sure that I didn't accidentally talk about men, Castiel was no man, he was an angel.

"And you think that I could help?" Castiel asked with a lot of doubt in his eyes.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do," I answered.

"And how on Earth could I do that?" Castiel continued questioning me.

"Well, by kissing me. Not now, but later. Because I think that I'm interested in you in a different way than I was before," I let it burst out.

Castiel continued staring at me, but now he was certainly surprised. His jaw fell down, leaving him look just adorably stupid. He didn't even try to say a thing, I could see it from his eyes.

"So? What say you?" I wanted to know, he had to response something now that I had finally opened my mouth.

"Well, you pretty much know how I feel. It hasn't been said out loud but well, it has been quite obvious. Dean, you're amazing, I don't even know how it's possible for me to feel this way. I shouldn't be able to get this attached to a human being," Castiel stated.

I looked at him, tried to think about what I had just heard. Did it really mean what I thought it meant?

"So, you, kind of a have a thing for me?" I asked.

"If you want to put it that way, yes. And you know it," Castiel added.

I looked at Castiel, didn't know what to say or do. I hadn't quite thought this as far as I should've. Maybe I should try to figure out something to say, just based on about how I felt now.

"Uhm, do you think we could give it a shot? Like play some serious ping pong?" I suggested. Castiel hummed and raised his eyebrow.

"Well, that's not the way I was planning to put it but well, let's play ping pong. I don't know properly how this loving-thing works but we can study together," he stated and got up to his feet. I nodded my head and got up as well.

Castiel walked close to me, really close. I could feel his breath on my face, in a way it felt nice. The intense look on his eyes was almost too much for me. It was pure love, with nothing hidden behind it.

"Cas, remember. Personal space," I reminded him.

"Well, I'll be invading your personal space a lot from now on. But of course, only by your permission," Cas said, raised his hand and touched my cheek.

I looked at him and smiled. His touch felt good, soft and warm. This would sure be good. We'd just need some time.

"Maybe it'll be okay," I answered and placed my forehead against Cas'. This was going to be awesome.


End file.
